Talking to Daughter's Review Tutor this week something suddenly became clear. The RT talked of how helpful Daughter is, how she is always fetching things for people, or lending them things, and how she likes to please everybody. It takes an adoptive parent to know why these are RED FLAGS.
It all clicked into place. I thought Daughter was stealing from me and her dad to buy sweets for her friends, but actually she's stealing from me and her dad to buy sweets to get friends.
She has zero social skills. She either needs to completely dominate another child (like she does with her brother) or be subservient to them and become their lackey. That's all she knows. She used to try and dominate me and her dad until we got the better of that shit, and now she is always trying to please us and be helpful. Her "friends" in Primary school were dominant taller older girls who readily took the cash and tuck and lunch she gave them, even though they must have known it was wrong. They treated her like crap and she let them because that way they would be her "friend".
Things make better sense now.
So next week I speak to the social-woman-thingy-person at the school whose name and number I have, and I test this school at how good they are with helping at this sort of thing, hopefully better that her Primary School who were of no help what-so-ever. Pissed off that I'm having to do this and we've not even seen a term out yet. I so believed in the fresh start. Idiot.
On the matter of the Police, Husband has been speaking to a local Bobby who will come around one night and talk to Daughter. Apparently this Bobby is "very good at that sort of thing".