They came out smiling and calm.
We got into the car. Daughter got wound up in 0.2 seconds by a twisted seatbelt, pretending she couldn't click it in, ensuring she was in control of when the car could drive off and getting a few stress tears out in the process. Same old, same old.
Driving home. Daughter started picking on son, who handled her too well, so she started shouting at him just to up the ante, but he told her to calm down!
Home. Obnoxious Central. Both of them giving me orders like I was some lowly housemaid.
Tea-time. Punch up. Both sent to eat their tea in their rooms in order to stop them kicking the shit out of each other. Argument ensues on the landing despite strict orders to stay in their rooms and calm down.
Early evening. I'm not letting them out of their rooms until I get husband here for back-up. Yesterday he didn't get home until nearly 7pm.
I LOVE BEING A PARENT!
6:50pm. Husband arrived home and was briefed. The children were brought downstairs for a discussion of events, which turned out to be more of a lecture delivered by me.
Evening. Children played happily together.
10 minutes before bedtime. Daughter comes up to me and announces in a cheery voice that her brother says he wants to suffocate himself to death.
Bedtime. Smiles all around.